Raising my kids, post-Y2K

I just gotta vent for a minute.
You ready?
Being a mom is tough! Especially in this day in age!
I feel like every time I get on the internet, I'm bombarded with ads, articles and opinions, telling me what's right and what's wrong when it comes to caring for my child.
You use store-bought baby food? Gasp! GMOs!!!
You make your own baby food? Ohemgee. Hipster much?
You should bathe your child daily, using soaps made only of the purest of materials, with all natural, all organic ingredients, no bleaches or dyes and absolutely no harsh chemicals. None.
(So... you mean, like, water, right?)
Americans bathe too much! By bathing your child daily, or even every other day, you are removing too many of the "good germs" that babies need in order to build their immune systems.
Your child should sleep on their stomach.
Oh, your kid should definitely be sleeping on their back.
Maybe try their side?
You should be reading to your child X amount of minutes per day, while also engaging in one-on-one play to ensure that they learn to interact with others.
Let your kid do his own thayng...
if you don't, he's going to be super clingy!
Baby wearing:
Wearing your babies makes everything so much easier!
Wearing your babies causes them to be incapable of making their own decisions!
Circumcise your child, because we said so.
What? You're circumcising?? Do you know what you're doing?
Oh the insanity!
And what is with not putting sunscreen on your newborns or only using bottled water to formula feed? I didn't even know those were a thing!!! Did you?
I sometimes just wish we could go back to simpler times. Before Facebook. Before Instagram. Before texting. Before cell phones. Before technology-based media overtook our world!
I am a firm believer in being honest with and standing true to yourself, regardless of how popular it might be. I am still swayed by others, but for the most part, I really just like to do things my own way. I guess I'm stubborn. Or just really conceited.
So in case you were wondering,
I plan to feed my babies store-bought food, because I don't enjoy making my own and I will breastfeed whenever possible, because I am blessed with the ability to do so. (Oh and I am 100% PRO public breast-feeding. Let's talk about the purpose of a woman's breasts sans the confusion of our sexualized society!) I will wash my children's clothes in Tide, because I like how it smells. My children will sleep however I find it easiest to get them to be comfortable. I will bathe my kids whenever I want (which is usually something like 3 days in a row, then not again for another 4 days. ha.) At this point in our lives, I will spend most of my child's awake time next to her side, because I LOVE being her mommy and don't want to miss any of it. Overprotective? I guess you could say that. Or you could just chalk it up to the fact that I'm a first-time mom who still has the time and luxury to sit next to my 1-year-old instead of attending to a crying baby or my older kids in an argument! I will wear my newborn in a carrier whenever I can, because hello... I have a 13-month-old who is just barely learning to walk and I will soon be birthing another tiny human (whom will be circumcised. TMI? Sorry.) I will use sunscreen on my newborn and I won't be using bottled water if we formula feed again, because formula is expensive enough in and of itself! Oh and another thing... I don't clean my house every day, because I would rather spend my free-time elsewhere. I like cooking, so I do it... not trying to out-do anyone, just going with what feels good. So, for the record, if you come over to hang out, chances are, it'll be a mess... but I'll offer you some good food, so I think it evens itself out.
Glad I got that out.
Anything you want to vent about?


Child-rearing in all of its glory

Let's talk about how toddlers demand 99.9% of your time. I never used to understand when moms would say things like, they were "busy" or how they were spending their whole day picking up after their kids. I would think how on earth could you be busy? You stay home and you have X amount of kids? And what could you possibly have to clean up all day? If you just leave the toys out the whole day, you only have to clean them up once, right? *I'm cringing as I write this* Please forgive my naïve brain!! I GET IT NOW! I didn't even know it was possible for my house to get so messy. And I have ONE. CHILD. Like what the heck is up with peanut butter and jelly being crusted onto the legs of my table or squished along the panels of my blinds??? And clearly I had no idea that a one-year-olds idea of "playing with a toy" looks much less like pulling a doll out of a toy box and much more like finding old food crusted to the bottom of a dirty shoe, or shoving electrical cords into her slobbery mouth.

Next point. Nap time. At our house, nap time is indefinite. (And oh. so. precious.) Which means that every morning when I wake up to the sound of my daughter screaming at me to come and remove her from the prison which is her crib, I instantly have to decide which basic task of living is worth attempting and which ones can wait until nap time (which would also mean foregoing something else, like working on stuff for my book business, or fulfilling my calling, or writing in my neglected journal, or sending those thank you cards I've been meaning to send for weeks, or paying the bills that are stacked at the end of the counter, or making a grocery list, or working on our family photo albums, or... yeah... you get the picture).

For example... do I:

A) Stick her in the tub with me while I shower, trying to avoid soaking her in the face every time I move out of the way of the stream of water (because, how on earth do I shower otherwise???) or does the shower wait until nap time, which could, quite possibly be at 2 pm, which means anything I was trying to accomplish before the afternoon has already hit would have to be done with stringy hair and sweaty pits? Hmm.

B) Forego the shower and any attempt at leaving my house and attack the piles of laundry and get the dishwasher running while the babe is clawing at the back of my legs, or pulling every dish out of the washer just as I turn my back after putting it in?

Or, C) My personal go-to--get overwhelmed by the thought of even having to do ANY of these things and instead sit in my PJs with my hair tossed in a pile on top of my head while I sit and watch my child bulldoze through my living room and kitchen, demolishing everything in her path before moving on to continually climbing up the stairs that she can't climb down on her own, expecting me to come and get her while carrying this bowling ball err growing child I've got shoved inside my shirt?

This is the dilemma that I face every morning and we haven't even grazed the surface of meal time. (Or exercise... Is that a thing that moms do? I just remembered that even existed.) So if you, like pre-baby me, are thinking: I don't even get it. It's not that hard. Then please come to my house and I will enlighten you on the dysfunctional nature of my life right now!!!

I need an intervention!

That being said, here are some pictures from my sweet Maisey girl's birthday party... Let's just say that I think this was my first and last attempt at throwing a Pinterest-inspired extravaganza. Time and money? I don't have enough.

Notice the really cool streamers in the background that looked more like a mess than a decoration...

At least all the food was on point!
Thanks to everyone for pitching in!!

Cake cred to my sis-in-law Torrey!
And the Macarons are from Sprinkle and Dash. Check 'em out!

Time spent making the tassel garland:
Embarrassing amounts of hours.
Time it lasted on that chair with her sitting in it:
5 minutes? Maybe?

The sun was not conducive to picture-taking,
but hey, it wasn't snowing!
Thanks everyone for all the great gifts!!

Anti-climactic cake smash

The ice cream intervention was much better

Until the brain-freeze

All tuckered out and loving her new baby!