Self-checkouts and awkward conversations

I'm just going to warn you now, 
that this post may not be favored by everyone.
You've been warned.
There are 3 things I hate buying at the store:
1. Feminine items
2. Condoms
3. Pregnancy tests

Does anyone else feel tormented by these public purchases??

I could easily offer up a separate story about each one of these that would clearly illustrate my point, however, to save you from having to endure way too much awkwardness for one post, I'll stick to #1.

Yesterday was an "I NEED chocolate" kind of day. 
Not that that's really anything out of the ordinary, 
but yesterday... it was bad. 

At my practicum, every Tuesday we have a 3-hour staff meeting. The only thing that makes me even remotely look forward to going, is the fact that every week as we walk in, there is a table filled with some sort of goodie to keep the staff occupied. As I drove to my meeting, I literally dreamed about the bite-sized Halloween candies that I was positive would be sitting on the table as I walked in the door. I saw Twix, Snickers, Kit-Kats... all kinds of things. And of course, they were small enough that I could easily grab a handful or two while still allowing my insane indulgence to go somewhat unnoticed. I imagined sitting there throughout the entire meeting, savoring every bite of the caramely chewy goodness of one bar and immiediately diving into the crispy crunchy feel of the next. 

I'm telling you... I needed chocolate.

Naturally, I walked in, 
and there was bread. 
(I've never been one for having much luck...)

Bread? I thought... Really??

You can imagine the sort of torture I had to endure as I sat, 
(not so) patiently, 
waiting for the meeting to be over so that I could ease my cramps 
and finally curb that dang sweet tooth of mine.
And you'd better believe that when my supervisor asked me if I was going to come on a visit with her, 
I said no, because I had somewhere important I needed to be. 
(eh em... the grocery store...)

The big problem came when I entered said grocery store. I needed to buy some pain-reliever, but as I headed for the Midol section, worrying about the awkward conversation I was going to have to endure with the cashier, it dawned on me that buying Menstrual meds and a candy bar would be way too much awkward for one person to handle. 

I'll go to the self-checkout I reminded myself. 
Then I noticed that there was no self-checkout.
I left the store.

After a long trip through three red traffic lights, 
five minutes full of busy school-zones,  
a dodge from a familiar face 
and an old man in the women's meds section (why??)
I finally made it to a self-checkout and got what I wanted...

And there were no awkward conversations involved!

Thanks self-checkout.
I owe ya one.


Stina said...

haha, this is why I choose to buy all of these things online. you're a great writer :)

meg said...

Don't worry. As I'm reading this I'm literally eating triple-chocolate chip cookies, with a warm corn bag over my lower abdomen region, after I just took some pain killers. And last night I did one thing I promised myself I would never do. I made Colten go get tampons for me on his way home from work because I came home from work, threw on the sweats, shedded my bra, heated up the corn bag only to realize I had zero tampons left and I was not about to trek it to the store. He's such a good hubby and was so entertained by the tampon asile.

Coupleena said...

lol, you crack me up! I half expected you to say you ran into your supervisor :). But really, that was a legitimately important place to be.

Derek and Amanda said...

I laughed so hard. And I agree too much.